it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
