Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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