FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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