Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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