# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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