jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
