I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize