There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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