you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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