I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
