i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
