yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
