What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
