Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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