Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
