; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
...so i touched it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
