i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ketchup is God's man juice
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need to sanitize my soul.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
