Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
