Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
