i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You don't make any sense
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