I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Less talking, more tequila
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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