I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
