It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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