You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
