just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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