butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
