Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
