Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
