Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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