It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize