If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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