You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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