i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
