i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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