Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
