Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
