Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
