Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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