I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
