PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize