I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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