I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
