About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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