her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
