You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
