I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
