Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
