I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you win again, gameday.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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