People in love make me want to vomit
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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