ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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