I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
