so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
