whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize