"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
