do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
