I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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