Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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