i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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