i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
