physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Who died my cat blue again?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
