I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
