I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
