Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
