Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
