so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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