If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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