weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
