Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
