I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
